Dear Lisa Z.,

LOOK ALIVE! Check your goddamn facebook! I'm your roomate and I demand to speak to you!

I'm so bored that I googled you. Apparently you're good at lacrosse. That's cool, because I have no idea what the hell lacrosse is, other than a sport that Chris Klein's emasculated character played on American Pie. Please, reply already. I'm getting antsy and bored.

                                                                                                           Love,
                                                                                                           B