New York is ...

dirty, noisy, scary and thick with people. I get lonely, because I live by myself, and I have to actively seek out company. Its a strange situation to be in after college, where social life was just a given, and plans and people usually fell into my lap. Sometimes I wish I could have the comfort of just listening to someone else in the other room, or have someone to bake all my muffins for, but then I remember how much I hate looking at someone else's dirty dishes in my sink, and the loneliness ebbs away ever so slightly.

It is not so bad after all, I think. And on weekends I still have my lovely boy, and we spend them watching movies on TV, like Secretary and Kinky Boots, or tangled up on my comfortable bed waiting for the thunderstorms to pass, so I'm not always lonely. And it is New York, and I can go anywhere on my own, and answer to no one. I can go to botany lectures in Brooklyn bars, rooftops that give me glimpses of meteor showers and the hush of Central Park, have lunch under the most beautiful canopy of trees in Bryant Park, go kayaking on the Hudson and watch the whole world roll by. Life, for me, feels tentative and frightening because of my joblessness, but I try to make the best of it.